Girl in Glass by Deanna Fei

Author:Deanna Fei [Fei, Deanna]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781620409930
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
Published: 2015-05-12T16:00:00+00:00

Scraps of toast sit before us, puddles of congealing yolk. My body settles against his. Something has finally been unearthed between us.

There are still gaps. There will always be gaps. At least one is an abyss, wide enough for a human being to fall through.

The next time we see Dr. Kahn, we chat about Mila’s graduation to CPAP. We ask about Dr. Kahn’s rotation. Then, after a pause, I ask her what happened to my daughter after the delivery.

One moment, she was still inside my body. By the time I entered the NICU for the first time, she was encased in her isolette, entangled in wires and tape and tubing.

Dr. Kahn seems to have expected my question. She tells us that she was in the operating room, ready to receive her latest patient as the cesarean was performed.

“You were there?” Peter asks, just as I say, “It was you?”

Dr. Kahn nods. “I resuscitated her,” she says.

Neither Peter nor I hear much of what she says next. One word rings in our ears: resuscitated.

Before we leave Dr. Kahn to her work, I blurt out another question. “Shouldn’t I have taken an ambulance that morning?”

“Actually, emergency response times in New York City are less than optimal,” Dr. Kahn says. “The car service was probably the right choice.”

There was no way for my daughter to have been rescued any faster. There was no window of time—not then—when, if Peter or I had done anything differently, we could have saved her.

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